Here we go again...

Almost exactly 11 years ago I embarked on a one-way journey to New Zealand. I knew I could only stay a year but it felt like such an adventure. That decision changed my life in ways that I couldn't have expected at the time. Now, eleven years later I'm standing on the verge of another international journey with my one-way ticket in hand. This time though, it's not the same. I'm older. I'm a home owner. I'm maintaining my career during the move. My friends have kids who are growing fast. Other friends have careers and lives that are taking them out of Chicago. We are in the midst of a global pandemic. And new relationships have been formed that could be lost when I leave. It's harder this time. Much, much harder. 

Up until now it's been six months of playing a hurry up and wait game. My job needed to be sorted out, visas needed to be obtained and lockdowns needed to be lifted. And now that my departure is within just two weeks, I'm feeling all the sadness that comes with leaving things behind. At 41 years old, I'm not where I had hoped to be in regards to having a family in my life. (I actually have a video of my 16-year-old self scoffing at the idea that I could possibly still be single without kids by the age of 35. That's quite the little gem of condescension caught on tape.) But I am so thankful for the things that I do have: a wonderful family scattered across the U.S., an amazing network of coworkers, sports teammates and friends - many of whom have become family. 

Putting it lightly, the goodbyes have been tough and they are taking their toll. But I take it all day-by-day, and sometimes minute-by-minute, because if I stop to look at the bigger picture I feel so overwhelmed with everything I need to get done. 

So that's the truth of it. Everyone is super excited for my new adventure, but I'm just not quite there yet. I'm so thankful I took this opportunity, and I know once I get there I'll be happy to explore and take on new challenges, but I wouldn't be myself if I wasn't honest about how I was feeling right now. 

Fortunately, I have things to look forward to: taking a walk on the streets of London, a hike in the Scottish highlands, exploring my ancestry in Norway or enjoying a warm afternoon in the Spanish sun. I haven't spent a lot of time in Europe and this will be an amazing chance to do just that. So I'm putting in the work, during a pandemic, enduring the emotional rollercoaster that has become my life, all to get myself across the pond on April 5. As part of that process I'm kicking off a blog once again to document my latest nomadic adventures. 

And with that it looks like I just crossed another item off of my "To Do" list. On to the next... 

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